One of the people who read my blog wrote me a note, and I thought she had a good question. Why do I write this, after exhorting people to “move on”. While the writer meant it as a honest, serious question, it also happens to be a common criticism from the people who want to erase the distinction between transgender and transsexual. So I’ll answer and handle two things at once.
I want to clear something up: My main focus is not about transition, and I am not particularly interested in trying to counsel people, or argue about personalities or make judgments on specific people. Occasionally someone starts a conversation in the comments section and in genuine concern for this person, I’ll give my opinion of what will lead to the greatest happiness, long term, for the post-transsexual person.
I write under the assumption that the vast majority of people who are coping with real transsexualism have come to an understanding of what is really going on long before they get to the internet, and blogs like this. To speak to them of these things is preaching to the choir. I do however hope to offer an alternative viewpoint to those few real transsexual people who read blogs with an eye to their future plans, that may yet be solidifying them and are thinking about involving themselves with the TG.
I am not telling people that to be a “real transsexual” you have to pursue correction in any particular fashion. The notion that process and surgery defines who is and isn’t transsexual is totally false; we are born, not scheduled in.
In fact, I am not interested in sorting people into bins at all, except when they attempt to do so to me. It is a strange situation when good manners in dealing with people also push you to the limits of sanity… and addressing certain TG glitterati by their preferred pronouns naturally sticks in your throat. What I am saying, to those who will listen, is that putting the needs of transsexual men and women into the hands of patently non-transsexual “TG” care is a recipe for disaster.
So, here’s my response to that letter.
I’m not really writing a blog about how people should transition. I’m writing about how there is such a thing as a real transsexual biological condition, and that we who have experienced it are ill-served by the assumption that we are all supportive of a particular brand of politics. Namely, that we all are automatically part of the GLBT, and beholden to anyone speaking in that group who calls themselves transgender. I find it intolerable that crossdressing men speak on women’s issues, and even more outrageous is their casual assumption that we should shut up and let them do all the talking.
My main goal is to put out a lamp in the darkness for people who may be questioning their sudden forced inclusion in the GLBT ghetto. I’m not interested in creating some GLBT-style group, political action committee, public persona, or some weird movement. It’s just about telling people like you and me it’s ok to go your own way. Don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself; you really are different from them. They certainly wouldn’t lift a finger to help any of us, and in many cases these “community leaders” are actively hostile to our interests. Case in point is the ridiculous way they bring suit against various states to advance the transgender agenda, which usually ends up costing us some hard-won legal gains that we have enjoyed for decades, such as the ability to change our birth certificates.
That brings me to the other reason I write. I see a terrible danger to us because it costs these people NOTHING to roll the dice with our rights. They claim to be us, go into court, and if they win, great. Usually they don’t, and we (transsexual background people) have a set back. No big deal to the transgender lobby, they still have everything they had before, i.e. the rights of their birth sex plus more due to their appropriation of “transsexual”. They can keep gambling away using our legal status until its all gone and shrug their shoulders and say “Oh well”, before moving on to their next kink.
Sorry to be so wordy, I just wanted to tell you why I still care. Yes, I have moved on in my real (non-internet) life as you have. At the same time I am not blind to the danger of poisonous politics. This stuff can still come back and bite us, and we should at least have one eye on the GLBT as long as that construct exists in its current form that claims us as constituents. With any luck, we can get some other people to say “enough is enough” too, and start voicing their concerns.
Take care, and thanks for writing 🙂