June is the month when the nation is treated to the spectacle of Pride Parades in all their glory. It’s also the time when many gay and lesbian people cringe at the thought of being tied to the outlandish displays of the people in these parades, and shrink further away from anything to do with this small minority of the gay sub-population who use these events to inflict themselves on the rest of the country. You really have to feel for the regular lesbians and gay people who are negatively impacted by this nonsense.

There was a time when people needed to see that there is indeed such a thing as really being born gay. We needed to see that people don’t just turn gay because of abuse or parental neglect. Pride was developed as a way to raise the profile that gay people exist, and to that end pride events were enormously successful. They’ve “raised consciousness” of their issue among us out here and people know that gay people exist these days. More than that, we are aware of their political needs and objectives. There is no lack of acknowledging these things and one look at the agenda of the rabid religious types shows that even they know exactly what activist gay and lesbian people are after.

That’s why things such as “pride” parades are counterproductive at this point in time. In the past there was perhaps a reason to shock people into recognition of your existence. But that time, as we all know, is exactly that, in the past. These days “pride” is an excuse for your enemies to whip a generally supportive public into an angry bunch who just don’t want to hear or see this crap any more. Speaking as a member of that public I can tell you that the feeling out here is that the party for this minority of flamboyant gays is doing the legal and political cause of mainstream gays great harm. Assless chaps do not sell political agendas.

There are two main phases to US-style activism. First, we identify an issue and inform our neighbors about its importance. Second, we put a plan into action to have the need addressed in law. Some people resist these kinds of changes and we have historically labeled them “conservative”. Those who push for these changes are seen from this angle as either reformers or radicals depending on the amount of change being proposed. This is the balance we have struck to ensure there is a method of changing what needs to be changed while creating a body of criteria against which these changes can be measured. Because the criteria in our generally democratic-republic system depends on numbers, the character of these campaigns is cast in terms of popularity.

We’re far past the point of consciousness raising and well into the portion of the process where the equal rights of gay and lesbians people should be ensconced in law to reflect the prevailing feeling of the public. The problem is that we have a number of people in the government who refuse to recognize the will of the people and are exercising their power to thwart us. The focus of the concerned gays and lesbians never shifted from activism/movement mode to “getting it done” mode. This leaves the only real public activity here in the hands of the partiers. The public concludes that these things must not be very important to gays and lesbians if that’s the sort of thing that they put forth as their argument for change. It’s a question of priorities, and the public has judged that revelry is not cause enough to worry.

Against this backdrop, the transgender exert an inordinate influence on the struggle due to their high visibility and over-representation at gay events. Now the gamesmasters of gay activism are reaping what they have sown by their attempt to annex “transsexual”. This cynical move will be the undoing of the GLBT.

As long as transgender attaches itself to transsexual, they can never make the argument that self-expression is solely a matter of (chosen) identity. Medical necessity is the lynchpin of what gives transsexual its form in the public mind, and that can never change. The public is knowledgeable about variant birth conditions (because many of us have babies, oddly enough), and it is a sure bet they do not see grown men playing dress up as a birth condition. Because of these facts transsexual has been formed as a concept in law, and indeed some of those laws have been on the books since the 1950’s, while the “transgender” concept is still considered a perversion by many. This isn’t going to change.

Transgender preachers since the outset have tried to push the idea that transgender is just a lesser form of transsexualism. But where transsexuals ask for nothing, transgender demand the moon and stars; legal power to enforce their will on others. This alone will ensure that transgender simply remains a form of dysfunctional gay to the public. But more than that, science continues to find evidence for the transsexual condition (see the side bar over there—>) against the heavy current of resistance put up by social theorists and other miscreants. At the same time, there is no evidence supporting the notion that variant sexual behavior is anything but behavior, dooming the “transgender” to an eventual return to their previous state of merely being sexually quirky people.

This robs the GLBT motif of legitimacy.  At some point the whole false edifice will come tumbling down, damaging the very real lives of gays and lesbians who want nothing to do with the way politics have been practiced. In this, they will sadly join the transsexual men and women who have been negatively impacted by the peccadilloes of people who just can’t handle their own sexuality.


Pride is also the month when many transsexual people who are relatively new to the transgender paradigm engage in the annual exodus from its ranks.  We are confronted with the truth of what we mired in, and a voice inside says “NO!”.   If you are one of these people, let me tell you that voice will not be silenced.  It will only grow louder as long as you deny the truth that you are simply a man or woman.  Listen to that voice and do what your heart tells you is right.

Newer transsexual people who are just emerging from transition these days often get drawn in to transgender subculture for a time. A lot of us have empathy for others who struggle in life due to our own experiences. We overlook the truth of the crossdressers situation and excuse their behavior even while part of us bristles at the notion that we are joined to them, and resents their demands for power and control. We feel guilty for having these uncharitable feelings for “downtrodden” people who wrestle with difficult sexual issues. But at some point we overcome the resistance of that feeling (while continuing to feel guilty) and are driven by the human need to seek our own peace.

Some of us try to find nice ways to make that break. We’ve spent too long mouthing the words of inclusion and have half come to believe we are all brothers and sisters in gender variance, even while that lie is melting before our eyes. We also feel it would be hypocritical at this late date to reverse our earlier views and argue for a separate state for the transsexual condition, apart from the world of the crossdressers.

We find other ways to distinguish ourselves such as suddenly finding we are “intersexed”. Perhaps some long-hidden medical documentation has come to light referring to infant surgery. Maybe we need to get a genetic karotype, just to make sure.

We seek out means to leave the transgender facade behind, even while we realize with rising horror that the thing we have supported so long is truly antithetical to our existence. The philosophy we have furthered has damaged us, and exists specifically at our expense. Yet the aftertaste of guilt lingers.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Many people wake up to reality after being drawn into a con. It feels embarrassing in those early moments after realization, but it’s not a disaster the way we tend to think it is. The key is to admit to yourself that you’ve been duped… and laugh. So what if it happened? It’s a good con. It plays on your empathy, and that’s why its so effective. The fact is if you weren’t a good person to begin with, it wouldn’t have worked in the first place. And you are still that person.

Most people who have been conned by transgender simply move on into their real lives. They stop going to events, they stop blogging.  Some people keep a small presence to make sure the beacon is still lit for others who are moving through the darkness of transgender-controlled transition, urged on by our conscience at the injustice of it all.

But most of us go on without live the life we were meant to; we’ve finally left the detour and are back on the road. This is why the transsexual presence in the T of the GLBT is almost nothing.

And that’s the way it should be.


7 Responses to Pride

  1. Kathryn says:

    Makes a lot of sense to me, Aria.
    The situation here in NZ is very similar to the US, it seems.
    What saddens me a little on the local scene is that more than one of those that see me as some sort of “enemy” because I will not concede that TG is just a sort of TS, are actually TS themselves….and post-op too in more than one case.
    Like you, I do sympathise to an extent with the guys that love to crossdress. In itself, it’s a pretty harmless aberration, and is only notable because of our societies quite artificial clothing taboos, and the sexual segregation of people for some purposes (toilets, changing rooms etc.).
    But that’s the way society is, and most people want it that way. I must confess that mostly it suits me too; I am not at all sure I would be comfortable with a man being in my female space, no matter how he was dressed!
    These “pride” parades do make me cringe, particularly when persons claiming to be transsexual are prominent within them, and like you, I know that the gay folk mostly feel the same way.
    Like us, they just want to get on with their lives. After all, one’s sexual orientation or sexual identity relative to chromosomes is a matter of no importance 99% of the time.
    John Q Public out there is mostly of that same opinion, so if these activist crossdressers would just accept who they are and stop all the exhibitionism, things will be fine. I do rather suspect, though, that some of them live for the occasions when they can be flamboyant with their fellows in a public place.
    The media just encourage them by giving them prime time news space…….sigh…..but there’s precious little we can do about the generally lamentable level of journalism extant in the world today.

    I hope you are right about the TG lobby self destructing….. the local evidence suggests rather the opposite….grin).

    • Aria Blue says:

      Hi Kathryn 🙂 Activist crossdressers lol! Yes that is exactly the situation. People claim to be transsexual because they don’t like the terms crossdresser or transvestite, it’s really that simple.

      TG has just about run its course here, maybe things are catching up where you live. While every silly cause like TG definitely has a life cycle before it dies, the golden bullet for TG will be its relationship with gay activism. Lesbians and gays are tiring of the burden of the silly behavior exhibited by public crossdressers and pride parades. There was a time when people needed to be shown that gays existed, but now we’re past that point and shoving crazy behavior in peoples faces actually harms their cause.

      When TG was first adopted into the GLB, it didn’t seem like much of a burden because they were far away from getting things into law. Now that we had a good chance for gay and lesbian equal rights bills passing our Congress and ready for the President’s signature, it is clear that TG has cost gay men and lesbian women their shot at legal equality. The door on those bills has closed and we will probably not see them come up again.

      They are going to blame the TG for this sorry state of affairs and the GLBT will dissolve sooner or later. On it’s own TG behavior doesn’t sell: Without gay, TG doesn’t exist. That’s why I feel the way I do on the subject.

  2. saphirenz says:

    I agree, there is a lot of truth in what you both say but I guess I must be a pessimist because I am continually irritated and frustrated by the attention given by the media to those who, for whatever reason, wittingly or otherwise, distort the truth about the connection of transgender and homosexual (gay)assimilation of classic TS. I am reminded by this thread (Pride)of a couple of TV or radio broadcasts here in New Zealand . One concerned the antics of a gay guy who had embarked upon transition only to balk at corrective surgery at almost the last minute and admit to being gay and not TS then subsequently ‘detransitioning’ This programme was virtually anathema to me. The other was a radio (audio) interview of Richard O’sullivan, the author of “The Rocky Horror Show” who did a damned good job of confusing and blurring the boundaries between Homosexualism, (which he has) Transgenderism and Classic Transsexualism.

    There is a noticeable increase in confidence among blog commentators from the USA and elsewhere, however, that TG activists and the misogynistic element of GLB losing the ‘contest’ and running out of steam. The one ray of hope, for me, in all this is the widely held belief that what happens in the first world usually happens here some twenty years later.

    I have previously said that what we CT need is good press/ publicity agents but then I suppose good bloggers and blog commentators are the next best thing ….if they are widely read by society at large.

  3. faerygift says:

    Oh thank gods I found this site and the links from it!

    I just don’t get Pride marches at all too. As you say, it’s about priorities, not something that should have been left back in the ’70’s.

    I thought I was going mad all by myself with the whole ‘transgender’ umbrella notion – after going to a few TG support group meetings I came away from the whole thing so dis-enfranchised I haven’t been back since.

    So I turned to the online forums, and well, you can probably guess how that went! lol

    Thanks Aria for your blog, it’s like a fresh breath of air after being in the smog all day.

  4. Kathryn says:

    Well said Sapphire…… That doco about the gay guy going almost to surgery annoyed the heck out of me too!
    I missed the one on Richard O’Brien, but he has always been of the “neither fish nor fowl” persuasion.
    I think that perhaps the fast moving, international medium of the internet will cut down the old 20-year “lag time” that it used to take for NZ to catch up with the Northern Hemisphere on the socio-political front.
    I do agree with your concept of a good, accurate publicity source for us CT’s…..perhaps that is something that we should give quite a bit or priority?

    Nil desperandum…………..

  5. frith2 says:

    This woman has it about right when it comes to the TG / gay appropriation of biological variation:

    Go Ashley!

  6. Kathryn says:

    MMMM…. yes she has the issue well in mind. At least here in New Zealand, once we have legal recognition of our true gender (having jumped through all the social, surgical and legal hoops) we are female in every respect, including legal marriage.
    Some churches will not marry HBS people in their true gender (if they find out about your origins), but that is, of course, their prerogative in a free society with freedom of religion. A true Civil Marriage is still available, as is a Civil Union, which is a bit different in that the former is available only for couples of different sexes, while the latter is available for anyone.
    At least we have that issue sorted out here, but the TG’s are still lobbying for similar rights on the basis of their lifestyle choices….. so far without
    success, I am happy to report.

    I do think, though, that as the body of clinical evidence of HBS being engendered by innate brain structure becomes larger and more certain with the advent of more sophisticated scanning techniques of living people, the TG’s will have the rug pulled well and truly out from under their feet.
    The sexually dimorphic sections of the brain are not, it seems, limited to the Bstc structures of the hypothalamus, but occur in many other brain areas, as proven in living-brain scans by recent research, the TG case becomes weaker by the day.
    Sooner or later the media will pick up on that and publicise it……. I can’t wait!