…and you should be too. One of the usual criticisms of any woman who speaks her mind is that she’s angry, as if it is completely illegitimate for a woman to ever be angry about anything. If a woman expresses displeasure, she isn’t really angry about what she says she is. No, it must have something to do with her silly irrelevant feelings. Maybe she feels jilted and wants to take it out on everyone. Who knows, women are such mysterious (ancillary) creatures it hardly matters. Women should never be angry or have opinions, you see.
So when I get angry about some very real injustices it comes as no shock that most people who may otherwise agree with me criticize me for being angry. I’m supposed to put up with all the the garbage with a smile and apologize for my own anger at being wronged. It was an offense for me to speak up in the first place. It’s a natural (sexist) double standard that both men and women enforce on women without thinking about it. If you want people to like you, a woman can never be seen as “angry”. It’s unfeminine to have opinions and to speak up for yourself.
I understand why people don’t want to be seen as mean or angry. I understand that most people just want to get along and have others think nice things about them for the most part. What I don’t understand is why others like me aren’t angry about our predicament at the hands of the GLBT. Why aren’t they angry about gay men speaking for us? Why aren’t they angry about the damage that has been done to our legal rights since the transgender have started impersonating us? Why do they meekly accept whatever they are told? Do they even feel vestigial anger, privately to themselves, at the injustice that they must feel on some level even if it is buried deep?
Then there is the phenomenon of people who agree with me yet feel the need to criticize me for a strident tone or being abrasive. If you can think of a better way to start getting this point across to the know-nothings in the trans crowd, by all means go right ahead and put that plan into action. It probably doesn’t occur to anyone that reasonable discussion has been tried, and resulted in the current situation. No, angry writing isn’t going to solve the problem by itself. But people speaking up and voicing opposition to the transsexual blackout that has characterized the situation for the last 15 years is a start.
When I say I am angry about a specific list of things, that’s actually what I am angry about. There is no secret agenda at work here, I am not going hormonal. I really, truly am pissed right off at gay politics and the lies told about transsexualism by the GLB-Tg. That’s all there is to it. I thought I was pretty clear about that, but apparently some people feel that the subtle nuance of my unbridled anger requires interpretation. Let me assure you, that when people get pissed about being silenced and spoken for, that is what they are really pissed about.
So thanks for making excuses for me, to preserve my femininity. Thanks for reducing -our- issue to one of some personal grievance that only I must have, to insulate your own feelings from criticism. Thanks for sucking up to the people who use and abuse us so that you personally will be liked. And most of all thanks for letting this abhorrent treatment of all of us to continue by your meek acquiescence. I’m sure our masters appreciate it all.
I don’t apologize one bit for being angry at the shit that is still going on. I have every right to this anger, and so do you. And in fact I suppose I am angry at those of you who enable this state of affairs in their scramble to be seen as one of the good ones. Have you so little respect for yourselves that you’d sell everyone else out to be liked? Did you ever stop and think that part of the problem you feel the way you do is BECAUSE of the very people you seek approval from?
Calling gay men out on their misogyny is not homophobia. The alphabet soup tried to blame Choi’s outburst on the military culture, but I’ve never, ever heard straight guys say these particular kinds of things about women even when they were being complete asses. I’ve never heard straight guys get bitchy and call women “fish”. This antipathy that exists in the GLBT towards women and therefore transsexual women is real, and it is at the source of all our problems with them. If they had the least little bit of respect for any of us, they wouldn’t stand for this sexist, misogynistic behavior. Making excuses for racists, sexists, gynophobes, and misogynists makes you as bad as the people you are defending.
As it stands, a large number of those who live in the assigned GLBT ghetto still feel somewhat entitled to control our access to rights as much as they can, though this is changing. The extent of that control is debatable, but the fact that many in the GLBT believe it is their right and duty to control us is cause enough for action. We have made great strides, aided by the prevailing social winds, in turning back these unwanted advances. We must continue to push back and finish the job. We must see this through.
As strange as it must sound, women do get to feel offended when they are offended, and men of any sort are not the deciders of that issue. Maybe the word hasn’t gotten around the world yet, but the minority card is no longer playable in here in the States. You don’t get a free pass on racism, sexism, or any of those other isms by virtue of membership in some imperially-designated “minority” group. Those days are over… this country is starting to change, and the pace of that change is going to accelerate. People are leaving their assigned ghettos and starting to speak up. This is a wonderful time to move issues forward. The status quo is falling apart and the vacuum that will briefly exist is a perfect time to establish new paradigms. Catastrophe is opportunity.
This isn’t the time to be timid. This isn’t the time for fear. We stand at the beginning of a new era and the sky is the limit. We will all have choices to make soon, and our judgment must be guided by our hearts. Not what we wish was true, but what we in our hearts know to be true. Stand together with those who will go forward, or stand out of the way. You can’t play both sides of the fence any more, you must choose. And the choice is clear: Either you continue to live in that cloud of darkness created and maintained by those who benefit at your expense, or you choose to walk out into the light and live on your own terms, without fear of retribution.
You can do this. All you have to do is choose.