The Crossdreaming Lie

There is something profoundly disturbing to women about transvestites.  Most women don’t deal with that issue much and they express little more than annoyance,  or perhaps laughter, at the sight of a man in women’s clothes.  But by virtue of our exposure to transvestites which often occurs if you follow the conventional wisdom for transition, some transsexual women develop an unwanted familiarity with the subject.  That, plus the fact that at every turn transvestite men attempt to own us.

So let me enlighten you transvestite men about they way you appear to the women who find you upsetting.  It’s the fact that you turn us into objects, hollow us out, climb inside and then act out a caricature of who we are.  It’s repulsive.  It’s scary.  And a lot of us instinctively feel it can be dangerous for some of you who take it too far.

“Jack Molay” writes a blog dedicated to attaching transvestism to transsexualism, and trying to entice transvestites to continue colonizing the transsexual birth condition, while trying to blur the lines between two completely different things.  Lines that would not exist to be blurred if these sorts of people did not create the false connection in the first place.  Molay writes:

The myth says that crossdressers and crossdreamers (men who get aroused by the idea of being a woman) become what they are when puberty hits. The myth is wrong.

There are to many crossdreamer childhood stories around for this to be true.


The fact is that there are a lot of people, researchers as well as transwomen, who deny that M2F crossdressers and crossdreamers experienced gender dysphoria or gender confusion when they are kids. The idea is that since crossdreamers are purely sexually motivated, their fantasies and dreams cannot appear before puberty.

I do not doubt for a minute that some crossdreamers wanting to transition told the doctors what the doctors wanted to hear. Why shouldn’t they, when the doctors at hand were so hung up in 19th century stereotypes of what it means to be a man or a woman?

But that does not mean that their childhood memories were false. Given the stories told on this site, and all the crossdreamers I have been in contact with, I can say with 100 percent certainty that yes, many crossdreamers dreamed of being girls at a very early age.

And from this you can see where it is going.  Much the way “autogynephilia”, an iatrogenic condition created by “researchers”, mimics classic transsexuality, the AGP preachers mimic the standard transsexual narrative.  Notice the attempt to join the idea of AGP to childhood.  It’s simply a rewriting of the transsexual narrative into an autogynephilic narrative.  Just the way transvestites write themselves into women when they desire.

It’s important to differentiate between transvestites and transsexuals in this particular area because a lot of the AGP “symptoms” are taken directly from TS “symptoms”.  This is an attempt to trick TS women who are in the process of figuring things out into thinking they are merely “AGP”, so that they will pursue their surgery under AGP protocols.  If you look at the list of things claimed by “AGP” and find some of your experiences there, don’t just jump to the conclusion that’s who you are.  AGP is a carefully constructed trap that you should simply just ignore once you are satisfied as to your true state.  And you don’t need to worry about it.

The diagnostic is simple.  If you are attracted to yourself as a woman, meaning you fancy yourself for a shag when “dressed”, you are a transvestite.  If you do not experience this, but have other sexual feelings perhaps related to your “condition” in your mind, you should explore the other alternatives.  It is entirely possible that the odd condition of having a particular neurology, mixed with the attitudes society hold, plus our innate primate nature, can produce any number of “symptoms” for transsexualism.  It is also possible that “gender issues” are related to difficulties some gay men have in dealing with society’s homophobia.  As humans we internalize a great many things, and living with them can be difficult.

What makes this troubling at this point is that it is a continuation of the transvestite behavior that lead to the current situation in the first place.  Men want to domiate the transsexual issue for their own purposes.  See this?

Some of these narratives point to a childhood that is similar to the ones reported for androphilic transkids and classic transsexuals. That is, there seems to be at least three categories:

(1) Those kids that appear as “normal” boys, taking part in rough and tumble play etc. etc.
(2) Those that “pass” as boys, but display some “girl-like” behavior. They avoid rough and tumble play and do prefer more peaceful activities. I was one of them myself – a kind of “proto-nerd”, I guess. I preferred drawing to soccer and skiing, but also found building model warplanes a good thing.
(3) Those who clearly identify with girls, often cross-dress as kids and prefer playing with girls.

These are not absolute categories, I believe, but more like a gradual continuum.

This is a shmoozing of the TG continuum back into the picture.  It’s designed to appeal to people who find comfort in the idea of a spectrum.  And these quotes from the comments on that post:

On the contrary,TG is a much broader umbrella term that refers to not just the transsexuals who are at the most extreme end, but to those who for various reasons exhibit an interest in cross-gender expressions.

Afterall,I would like you to know that it is not only transsexuals who are discriminated against in society.

Transvestites are discriminated against, transsexual issues aren’t really that big a deal.

Your comments illustrate to me the issue in getting the data. We have taken ‘transsexual’ and made it the exclusive property of those who never question their feelings or the difficulties of the life of medical intervention.

It’s not fair that transsexuals have something that we don’t.  We need to take it from them.  And that’s the transvestite way.

This is how men talk themselves into doing things to other people.  This is also how men commonly excuse their abuse, though because this is still a theoretical position and not a situation involving specific people, its not entirely “fair” to characterize it like that here.  I just want to illustrate the parallels to this male behavior, and try to show some people why as women we find it upsetting.

The people “crossdreaming” is designed to entice are those crossdressing men who want to find a way to excuse their behavior.  Just like the earlier problems between transvestites and transsexual women, this is a case of identity theft.  I find it reprehensible that people like Jack Molay write blogs that attempt to erase us and take “our” issue.  Yes, Jack, transsexualism belongs to those who suffer from it.  You don’t get to waltz in and take ownership of a condition you don’t have.

There is no such thing as “crossdreaming”, because there is no such thing as “autogynephilia” in the sense pushed by these “reasearchers” such as Blanchard.  If you are a transvestite who has moved on to getting hormones and surgery, you remain a transvestite.  If you are a transsexual woman who has various “symptoms”, you remain a transsexual woman.  These people don’t get to own your experiences, and they certainly don’t get to own you.

Each person knows deep down which of these they are.  If you don’t want to be a “crossdreamer”, and instead think you are transsexual, then toe the line and do what transsexuals do.  Otherwise all of this is simply nonsense and hardly matters anyway.  Men’s issues should not eclipse women’s issues, no matter how angry at us they get.

“Try walking in my shoes, and you’ll stumble in my footsteps.”


7 Responses to The Crossdreaming Lie

  1. Kathryn says:

    Now all we have to do s convince the CD’s and the medicos of this……. sigh.

  2. saphirenz says:

    Although I agree with Kathryn that there probably are some Cd and certainly many medical professionals who may not honestly know the difference , I am convinced that most Cds are completely aware of their deception. Their motive being to justify what they themselves perceive as a shameful predilection…and that probably covers the whole TG movement.

  3. Kathryn says:

    I would imagine it is the line of thorough, independent diagnosis by a specialist in the field, followed by embarking on a course of treatment to rectify the problem.
    If one is unwilling to undertake this process, then it is difficult to see how claims to being TS/HBS can be taken seriously.
    Every core transsexual that I know (that’s quite a few), couldn’t wait to get it all over with and get on with a more “normal” (whatever that is) life……
    All of the TG’s that I know (again, quite a few) always, and I mean always, make excuses….. no money, no time, relationships, employment…. you name it.
    As a friend of mine says “if you are not prepared to lose everything….friends, job, partner, family….everything…..then you should not even start the process”.
    It’s not a case of Aria being dictatorial like a trade unionist at all, it’s that determining you are “the real thing” before embarking on the treatment regime and/or asking for the status, both legal and social, of the sex that you think you are, is the wise (and essential) precursor to transition.
    Being transsexual is not a choice, it’s an innate state of being…. Being a crossdresser (or even a “crossdreamer”) is an acquired condition, for which an individual may or may not seek a cure. Entirely their choice of course.
    The treatment for transsexuality cannot be successfully reversed, so it pays to “jump through the hoops”, no matter how certain you may be about who you really are. After all, the very definition of a delusion is that one believes it to be true, so making sure that one’s feelings are genuine is an essential, and prudent, step.
    The secret, of course, is to choose the right professional to approach and to tell them truly about how you feel, and not spin some narrative obtained from places like the internet……
    Perhaps ourselves are the hardest people with whom to be honest at times…………..

    • kathrynmartin says:

      Thank you Kathryn that is a complete explanation. I have been diagnosed by two gender specialists (PhD) who after careful consideration gave me the clearance letter for Endo, which is administered through my MD in consultation with a gender specialized Endocrinologist. I don’t hate body parts, because it always seemed to me rather childish to hate such things, however I am altering myself surgically, first with FFS in ten months and will have GRS at some time down the road if I can do so without dying because I have significant risk factors and could lose my life (my Doctor tells me this is so).

      I have never considered myself a transsexual actually because I have always been a woman, as far as I can remember. I have been given a male body though so I have lived a life in a dissociated state of being. That is why I am transitioning.

      My experiences however as a woman in a man’s body are unique. I have no narrative except my biography. Apparently, that is Arias source of contempt for me (see her quote from my blog in her recent post). She does not like what I say because she suspects an agenda.

      So what can I say…

  4. Aria Blue says:

    That’s right. You move heaven and earth to solve your problem. You do whatever it takes to get your body fixed. Fixing the body is the sum and total of TS, and everything else is a result of that central issue. All the talk about what a woman does or does not do is a distraction.

    You do not run around telling everyone that transsexuals sometimes keep their weiners and that it’s simply a personal preference, as the TG/trans* crowd does. This goes against the very definition of what it means to be transsexual. This is one of the main reasons we have problems with the TG/trans*. If the TG want to preach that stuff, they don’t need to say they are transsexual. TG should be good enough.

  5. leighspov says:

    Dignosed …

    What exactly does that mean? Just how on earth does someone sitting in an office somewhere, compleatly detached from a patient in their day to day life, save the one hour a week or month appointment, really have any idea if someone is or is not transsexual. It really doesn’t mean a whole lot.

    Actions speak louder than words, so the old saying goes. As Kathryn points out quite truly, if your not willing to give it all up, friends, family, money, and perhaps even your life, then truly you are playing with fire. Thats what we do, most of us. We spin the wheel of fortune and we hope it moves us to a better place. Sometimes it doesn’t, those are the breaks, but when I hear these people that trot out the same tired excuses for not surgically transitioning, and at the same time espousing all the gender theory crap and claiming they are transsexual, not willing to part with that most defining part of their anatomy, I just want to scream! I swear that if SRS was free, they would still find an excuse.

    When I went to those shrinks, I did so because I had too. I didn’t need them to diagnose me, I am what I am and knew instinctivly where my path lie. Psyches are just people too, and for the most part they base their diagnosis on your actions, your willingness, your persistence but most of all, just like society as a whole, your believability. Everything else is just gobbledygook mumbo jumbo. What you do, is worth 20 times more than what you say, and what you feel like or think of yourself as, doesn’t even weigh as much as a fly alighting on a UPS packing scale. I had 6 sessions in all and was cleared for SRS. Did it help that I was successfully living and working without their guidence at the time? …you bet it did!

    And then there are the psyches that really think they can read minds … and the tg pretenders who can fool everyone except those that actually have the condition. They bark and yapp like a pack of dogs to the hunt when they are challenged, and they scream blue bloody murder for being called out.

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