-Sexologists- ruining lives, and other things

November 22, 2010

So we’ve established beyond a reasonable doubt that there is only one type of  “transsexual”, and that is a person who suffers from a specific birth defect.  Transsexualism, then,  describes a particular set of symptoms experienced by a real, true transsexual.  And further, there is a treatment with a very good outcome, and most former transsexuals go on to lead happy lives.  There are no “other types” of transsexuals, just the one.  So who are all these pseudo-transsexuals created by the psychs?

In the United States we have a serious problem with the idea of variant sexualities.  This creates all sorts of problems for people whose experiences lie outside the norms.  There are two types of pseudo-transsexuals who emerge out of this situation.

The first is a gay or lesbian person who has trouble coming to terms with their sexuality.  This one came in two stages; the first stage happened when the effeminacy was forcibly ejected as an acceptable way to be from the gay scene.  Soon, nelly gays were not only rejected from mainstream society, but also found themselves scorned by their own community.  After a number of years this situation became the norm and a new generation of gay and lesbian youth were born into a world where they truly had no place.

Some of these rejected people found escape in the emerging “trans” identity.  Many people have difficulty dealing with a homosexual orientation, and the “trans” option gave them an escape route.  But this turned out to be a terrible mistake, leading to wrecked lives and a dialogue more confused than ever within the GLBT.  Eventually, the trans confusion reached a point where some women, who had previously been lesbian, started experimenting with hormones and finding they enjoyed a limited “male” existence.  Further, some other “heterosexual” women who simply had personal issues with relationships did the same, becoming “gay FtM’s”.  While there are such things as straight and gay TS men, there is a vast difference between TS men and transgender females.

We ended up with lesbian and gay “transmen” who didn’t want to abandon their female roots and maintained those connections, but who used their newfound status to access “male privilege” when they wanted.  These are the “FtM spectrum” types, or “female transgenders”.  And they make TS men just as livid as the transvestites and nelly gays make us TS women.  Just ask one if you can find him.  If you ever do meet a real TS man, there is no doubt that this is a man.  As in all dude, all the time, totally legit.

There is simply no comparison when you stand a TS man next to a female transgender, it’s pretty obvious.  One is not better than the other, but they are VERY different.  This is an ongoing problem for the men, but it all started with the confusion over TS women much earlier.

Although a young, effeminate boy may seem to be the “perfect transsexual”, it is now clear that there is no relationship between their homosexuality and the transsexual birth defect.  You can’t simply take a man, no matter how gay, and turn him into a woman.  It doesn’t work that way no matter what some people would have you believe.  Young effeminate males are simply young effeminate males; they do not have a birth defect, because this is a normal human variation and requires no medical attention or treatment whatsoever.

While there was some confusion among the less “effeminate” types about the “trans” thing,  the main outcome of driving effeminacy underground was to create a class of “non op transsexuals”.  Basically full time drag queens who thought they were transsexual despite not having any of the characteristics of transsexuals.

The fallout from this standard practice of enabling this escape, telling these people they are justified in transitioning to avoid their sexuality, has yet to reach its full effect.  It is hard to imagine how such a thing came to be these days in our increasingly litigious society.  You’d think that at least a few of the people involved would have a fear of lawsuit, as the age of permissiveness comes to a close.

The other pseudo-transsexual subtype is the transvestite who has been encouraged by the therapist that “transition” is possible, and that they are indeed a type of transsexual, though they do not desire surgery.  When a non-transsexual person says they are going to “transition”, what are they really talking about?  How?  Transition to what?

If you speak to the wives of the “afflicted” crossdressing husbands, many of them talk about how the problem started small and then grew out of control.  Fetish overtakes their lives, to the detriment of the wife and children.  This isn’t something to be encouraged by a permanent fetish state!  This is a tragedy that needs to be avoided.  Instead, we have certain people in the industry throwing “transition” gas on a transvestic addiction fire.  How irresponsible can they be?

I believe this practice of enabling of the fetish addiction is just as reprehensible as encouraging gay and lesbian people to transition.  In the case of the transvestic pseudo-transsexual, the mental health professional who encourages “transition” is actively participating in the progression of this addictive behavior, which is extremely troubling.  And to suggest that such people are good candidates for surgery is beyond the pale.

Such an approval from psychs for any of these non-transsexual people to access transsexual treatment seems practically designed to ensure a rash of regrettors suing the few surgeons who treat transsexuals, perhaps finishing the campaign against us that McHugh started.

Given that the psychs themselves will have the cover of the APA Bible, those who have been overseeing the transitions will probably escape all scrutiny and blame.  It will, however, result in the destruction of the careers of the very few medical doctors who treat us.  There can be no other result of allowing so many non-transsexual people to access the transsexual treatment regimen.

And in other news…

There are times when some of this stuff stretches the belief of even the most jaded watcher of the GLBT.  Take, for example, the case of the “non op” who feels that those who get surgery or dislike their parts are “immature”.

If you  go on to this most controversial of all body parts in transsexual MtF circles, the (wait for it, lifting my hand in front of my mouth and looking through the corner of my right eye at you whispering…) penis.  To me it had very good utility over my life time so far.  It is probably the best construction for pointed peeing (you know writing in the snow), it delivers sperm exactly where it should go if you do it right, and it contains so many nerve endings that it can deliver interesting sensations and resulting emotions including what we call relief.  Do I love it? Not really, it just is there.  And yes I am grateful it was and is there, part of what I was outfitted with.  Do I hate it then?  It is like asking the same question about a rock on a beach.  It is in short a stupid question.  And anyone who hates their genitals, or loves them is, I am sorry to say lacking some fundamental judgment.  It is incredibly immature, similar to naming your body parts.

What kind of “transition” will this person have?  And if that’s not enough to get you scratching your head, how about a little advice on how to get it up for men when you’ve taken too many hormones?

If you advertise for men looking for trans women, rather than tucking and hoping not to have an issue, then you’re going to be expected to use that something extra. And if you’re on hormone replacement therapy, this will be further complicated by the fact that Spironolactone or (worse) Androcur will reduce or even end all ability to do so. Not good. Some girls will use Viagra — I found that to be only marginally helpful, and certainly didn’t help with the mental squick.

Nothing is more womanly than taking viagra for some hot gay man sex.  And on another note, I was just thinking to myself it was about time we had another article like the aforementioned that brought the tranny hooker “meme” back into the spotlight.  Can you feel the progress?

With all the fakes, frauds, and just plain confused, how is anyone to sort out all the bs?  The only people who stand a chance are the born-transsexual, because we always eventually hit that wall and the solution becomes obvious.  In a lot of ways then, the sexologist clique is merely using knowledge of us to prey on the gay community.  Rather than helping people accept themselves, there are those who encourage the “pseudo-transsexual” people into the transsexual treatment program.  This is nothing but malpractice.

But we aren’t quite out of the fire yet.  TS men and woman are largely beyond the reach of the sexologists thanks to laws and regulations fought and won by courageous TS people long before any of this nonsense came about.  While the current DSM proposal contains the carrot of dismissal from disordered status from the psychs once surgery is complete, this is predicated on the notion that you approach them for approval in the first place, something that isn’t necessary at the present time.  This is an inroad to a transsexual population that currently doesn’t need them at all.

If this carrot is dangled before people who would otherwise avoid the psychs, and there are a lot, then you go on record as a transsexual.  Whether it is in private or government records, there is a paper trail of you being “disordered” in one way or another.  Right now, that may or may not be a very bad thing depending on your situation.  But who is to say it won’t get worse down the road?

The current trend is to try to pathologize more and more people.  Why would a significant exception be made for curing transsexualism?  It’s just a way to drum up more business, and it’s something none of us really need.  Keep the psychs irrelevant; they have nothing to offer most of us.  We simply don’t need them.

So please do carry on, and enjoy the Day of Forgettance!


Tilting at windmills

November 7, 2010

The need to separate the categories continues.  Apparently a transgender judge was elected in California.  Bully for her, I’m sure it’s a great victory for everyone who has transitioned and moved past the trans problem, though it was a major media issue in the campaign, right?  Yet in a comment the good judge says the following:

However, until people are open about their gender identity as confortably as others are about being happily straight and married with children, we will never move beyond this being considered newsworthy. This is why I talked about my wife on the website, and explained why electing a transgender person to be a judge would be positive.

Yet again we are treated to a comparison of transgender to gay, and how a propos.  (comparing transsexual to gay is not, and is a plain insult)  Yet again we are accosted with the hypothesis that if more trans people would just be out and proud, we’d normalize “gender variant” behavior and everything would be fine. There are two big problems with this view. 1) It isn’t true 2)  The nature of such “normalization”, if actually realized, is dubious.  For a “transgender” person, I’m sure having that status recognized constantly in public and then in law would be great.  For a transsexual person, it would be a living death.  But let’s look at 1 and 2 for now.

In the first place, there simply aren’t enough trans*people to ever make it normal.  Setting aside the fact that most trans is simply maladaptive behavior and therefore can never be normalized, the percentage of full time crossdressers in society is, and always will be, vanishingly small.  There are no hordes of would-be full time crossdressers just waiting to burst out of the closet, despite the fervent beliefs of the current “out” TG.

Thus they reveal their campaign is actually about making crossdressing comfortable for the people who enjoy that activity, and has little to do with “gender roles” or making a freer society beyond their one pet issue.  Rather, they hope to make transvestism commonplace enough that people just accept it at face value, and don’t put up any resistance to the things they want.  This is why I write that it is a matter of politics, not civil rights, and as such people are free to oppose this behavior without the specter of being called that range of names that the GLBT is so fond of throwing around.  Like bigot, or phobe.  Crossdressing is not the same as being gay.

Next is the notion that there should be a campaign to get into people’s faces with “gender variant” behavior because it would be good for trans*people.  Yes, it would be great for certain “trans*people”, and by that I mean of course the full time crossdressers.  The other “trans*people”, such as transsexuals and intersex people (who have not quite escaped the grasp of the GLBT at this point), would be poorly served by such notoriety.  It’s an entirely selfish proposition that benefits only the fetishists and the genderscrews, while damaging transsexuals and possibly “intersex” people depending on the strength of the GLBT takeover of that category.

The prospect of non-transsexual people “educating” the public about the condition is absolutely horrifying.  Yet many of the people who are doing this have no idea they are not transsexual.  They have been lead to believe that the condition is acquired by getting surgery and nothing more.  I’d like to believe that if the majority of them knew that they were doing harm to people like me by their public proselytizing, they would refrain.  And at the same time, we have to realize there are some people who conduct these disinformation campaigns with the specific intent of wiping our existence from the public mind.

What the GLBT fail to understand about transsexualism is that being “out” precludes a successful treatment of the condition, before you even get to the other arguments.  If you are “out” you are constantly confronted with the transsexual problem and it will never resolve.  That is why so many transsexual people look askance at people who claim to be “out” post op transsexuals.

If you make the condition the centerpiece of your life you would be overwhelmed by this issue which we all supposedly share(d).  Your life would become a daily horror show as y0u were confronted over and over with being forced back into the role of a man to everyone you meet.  If you don’t understand why this is so and disagree, you are beginning to ask the questions that will give you a better understanding of the condition and show you how it is completely at odds with the accounts of “transsexuals” who populate the youtubes, podwaves and blogosphere with their out and proud lifestyles.

And so because the transeducation campaign continues, it is necessary to continue to draw apart their construct.  As long as the denial of the separate nature of transsexualism continues, efforts to point out the truth to people who matter will continue.  They may dash themselves against those windmills.  They may not dash others, however.

Their failure to realize that their political campaign is coercion and force is another one of the key points that they must understand at some point.  Cries of hate against us are foolish when it is they who hate, they who try to manipulate and control and dissemble.  You cannot tell post transsexual people, or anyone for that matter, that they must join your political crusade or be called bigots.  To do so is to employ a kind of violence.  And that is exactly what they do when they deny us our voice.

In the end they are hurting only themselves because by the foolish attempt to normalize their behavior, they have accomplished just the opposite and set themselves out and apart.  As they continue to insist that transsexual is transgender is transvestite is gay is lesbian is straight, people become more and more aware of the duplicitous nature of the claims.  And as they do that, others will make the differences clear in other venues, out of the public shouting match that we call the internet.  Like it or not, people can tell the difference between us and them, and all the wishes and words in the world aren’t going to change that.

If you live your life as a transgender person, that is what you are going to be.  No transsexual person would ever find that acceptable.  You can save yourself a lot of pain and moving expenses if you learn that lesson early.

If you aren’t transsexual, don’t transition

November 2, 2010

SA ET has a great post at her blog Enough Nonsense.  It’s really about time that someone pointed out that the world does not, and will not, change to accommodate the wishes of those of us who transition- lots of people seem to think that saying you have a medical diagnosis of being a transsexual means that people must treat you a certain way.  And when it doesn’t they think something is wrong with the world.  That’s one of the key problems with the transgender approach.

Half transition is not a cure for a “partial gender identity”.  That is patent nonsense.  Transition is for transsexuals and there are no half measures involved.  You either do it and accept the consequences or you leave it be.  People who think they can live between genders are fooling themselves and wrecking their lives.  And those who push this gender identity garbage have done major damage through their advocacy for a false construct both to themselves and their families, as well as to the overall state of transsexual medical treatment and public acceptance.

As a friend says, if your life isn’t better after transition than before, then what are you doing it for?  To live “authentically”, comes the refrain.  But that doesn’t really mean anything does it?  A life can be measured with objective criteria of happiness and fulfillment, and the transgender lifestyle fails at these tasks not because society simply doesn’t understand them (as it is with gays and lesbians to an extent), but because the transgender lifestyle itself creates misery.  It is not a legitimate way to live.  And you know why?  It’s axiomatic, and it’s what I just said.  TG produces a misery index every time it is injected into someone’s life and it causes demonstrable harm.  It misdirects a person’s time and energy away from handling their issues with false hope and false promises of a better life.

And once you tell everyone you are TG with the obligatory coming out routine that is prescribed for all trans* people, you can’t take it back.  It’s forever.  Unless of course you disappear and resurface.  But your ties with your family and other loved ones can never be untainted.  Trans carries a high price, a price that is denied by those who try to sell that snake oil.  If you try to transition and are not a transsexual you will quickly find that life becomes all but unlivable over time.  Visit any TG “community” and look around.  A bastion of hope and change it is not.

Do I say these things to harm people?  No, exactly the opposite.  I have seen first hand what trans does to people’s lives and it never turns out well.  By being straightforward, and even angry, I hope to impart an urgency and a truth to the dialog that doesn’t exist now.  The world is not a place where we can all just join hands and play let’s pretend and have everything magically appear the way we want it.  But neither is it the cold, cruel world the TG imagine must await them outside the ghetto walls.  You just have to be honest with yourself, and take that first step towards your future.

For some being truthful with yourself is the hardest thing you can do, as another friend just pointed out to me. (Hey Lisa! :))  But that’s where your life begins.

If you aren’t transsexual, don’t transition.  Sooner or later you will regret it.



Why I’m angry

October 30, 2010

…and you should be too.  One of the usual criticisms of any woman who speaks her mind is that she’s angry, as if it is completely illegitimate for a woman to ever be angry about anything.  If a woman expresses displeasure, she isn’t really angry about what she says she is.  No, it must have something to do with her silly irrelevant feelings.  Maybe she feels jilted and wants to take it out on everyone.  Who knows, women are such mysterious (ancillary) creatures it hardly matters.  Women should never be angry or have opinions, you see.

So when I get angry about some very real injustices it comes as no shock that most people who may otherwise agree with me criticize me for being angry.  I’m supposed to put up with all the the garbage with a smile and apologize for my own anger at being wronged.  It was an offense for me to speak up in the first place.  It’s a natural (sexist) double standard that both men and women enforce on women without thinking about it.  If you want people to like you, a woman can never be seen as “angry”.  It’s unfeminine to have opinions and to speak up for yourself.

I understand why people don’t want to be seen as mean or angry.  I understand that most people just want to get along and have others think nice things about them for the most part.  What I don’t understand is why others like me aren’t angry about our predicament at the hands of the GLBT.  Why aren’t they angry about gay men speaking for us?  Why aren’t they angry about the damage that has been done to our legal rights since the transgender have started impersonating us?  Why do they meekly accept whatever they are told?  Do they even feel vestigial anger, privately to themselves, at the injustice that they must feel on some level even if it is buried deep?

Then there is the phenomenon of people who agree with me yet feel the need to criticize me for a strident tone or being abrasive.  If you can think of a better way to start getting this point across to the know-nothings in the trans crowd, by all means go right ahead and put that plan into action.  It probably doesn’t occur to anyone that reasonable discussion has been tried, and resulted in the current situation.  No, angry writing isn’t going to solve the problem by itself.  But people speaking up and voicing opposition to the transsexual blackout that has characterized the situation for the last 15 years is a start.

When I say I am angry about a specific list of things, that’s actually what I am angry about.  There is no secret agenda at work here, I am not going hormonal.  I really, truly am pissed right off at gay politics and the lies told about transsexualism by the GLB-Tg.  That’s all there is to it.  I thought I was pretty clear about that, but apparently some people feel that the subtle nuance of my unbridled anger requires interpretation.  Let me assure you, that when people get pissed about being silenced and spoken for, that is what they are really pissed about.

So thanks for making excuses for me, to preserve my femininity.  Thanks for reducing -our- issue to one of some personal grievance that only I must have, to insulate your own feelings from criticism.  Thanks for sucking up to the people who use and abuse us so that you personally will be liked.  And most of all thanks for letting this abhorrent treatment of all of us to continue by your meek acquiescence.  I’m sure our masters appreciate it all.

I don’t apologize one bit for being angry at the shit that is still going on.  I have every right to this anger, and so do you.  And in fact I suppose I am angry at those of you who enable this state of affairs in their scramble to be seen as one of the good ones.  Have you so little respect for yourselves that you’d sell everyone else out to be liked?  Did you ever stop and think that part of the problem you feel the way you do is BECAUSE of the very people you seek approval from?

Calling gay men out on their misogyny is not homophobia.  The alphabet soup tried to blame Choi’s outburst on the military culture, but I’ve never, ever heard straight guys say these particular kinds of things about women even when they were being complete asses.  I’ve never heard straight guys get bitchy and call women “fish”.  This antipathy that exists in the GLBT towards women and therefore transsexual women is real, and it is at the source of all our problems with them.  If they had the least little bit of respect for any of us, they wouldn’t stand for this sexist, misogynistic behavior.  Making excuses for racists, sexists, gynophobes, and misogynists makes you as bad as the people you are defending.

As it stands, a large number of those who live in the assigned GLBT ghetto  still feel somewhat entitled to control our access to rights as much as they can, though this is changing.  The extent of that control is debatable, but the fact that many in the GLBT believe it is their right and duty to control us is cause enough for action.  We have made great strides, aided by the prevailing social winds, in turning back these unwanted advances.  We must continue to push back and finish the job.  We must see this through.

As strange as it must sound, women do get to feel offended when they are offended, and men of any sort are not the deciders of that issue.  Maybe the word hasn’t gotten around the world yet, but the minority card is no longer playable in here in the States.  You don’t get a free pass on racism, sexism, or any of those other isms by virtue of membership in some imperially-designated “minority” group.  Those days are over… this country is starting to change, and the pace of that change is going to accelerate.  People are leaving their assigned ghettos and starting to speak up.  This is a wonderful time to move issues forward.  The status quo is falling apart and the vacuum that will briefly exist is a perfect time to establish new paradigms.  Catastrophe is opportunity.

This isn’t the time to be timid.  This isn’t the time for fear.  We stand at the beginning of a new era and the sky is the limit.  We will all have choices to make soon, and our judgment must be guided by our hearts.  Not what we wish was true, but what we in our hearts know to be true.  Stand together with those who will go forward, or stand out of the way.  You can’t play both sides of the fence any more, you must choose.  And the choice is clear:  Either you continue to live in that cloud of darkness created and maintained by those who benefit at your expense, or you choose to walk out into the light and live on your own terms, without fear of retribution.

You can do this.  All you have to do is choose.

The answer to your question. (Why can’t people see me as a 3rd “Gender”?)

October 14, 2010

One of the constant gripes heard from the TG/trans* crowd is that their special trans* concerns are never part of the GLBT agenda.  They complain that “cis, white, gay men” are  always the spokespeople for their movement.  This is often followed by the question, “Why?”.

The answer is that gay men and lesbian women see you as gays and lesbians who simply having a problem accepting yourselves.  That is how the rest of the world sees you too.  It is only in your own little group of trans*people that anyone believes that you are something other than male or female.  When one of the few gays or lesbians send a few nice words your way, that is because they feel pity and are just humoring you.  They probably feel that it isn’t really their place to correct you on your journey to wherever it is in the gay world you are going.

The point of saying these things is not to shame and humiliate, but to let certain people know the truth of what they are doing with their lives.  We all gravitate towards the groups and communities with which we naturally find affinity.  Gay men may find a place in the gay community.  TG/Trans* used to find a place in the gay or lesbian community, though over time they found themselves excluded and formed their own trans* affiliations.  This last is important, because often TG/trans* people mistake their lack of comfort in the gay community as a sign they are special and belong somewhere else, when really they are struggling to create a new identity within the gay community and are facing pushback from gays and lesbians who do not want this new niche created.  The trans* argument, then, is largely with the GLBT and not society as a whole in many cases.  Though when you have a the-whole-world-is-against-me lifestyle its easy to get your perceived enemies all mixed up.

Transsexual people, of course, find no affinity with the gay and lesbian community unless they happen to be gay or lesbian themselves.  We seek out like-minded men and women in our own communities to form friendships the same as any other man or woman.  There is no special requirement for the groups we join because we are just like the people around us, and thus we feel an “affinity” for mainstream culture the same as everyone else.  This isn’t done as a slap in the face to “other trans* people”, or as some political statement against the GLBT, or to run from who we really are.  We find a home here and form friendships here because that really is who we are.  We aren’t pretending to be straight.  We are straight.  I don’t think too many of us expect people in the GLBT to understand this, but we do expect you all to respect it.

It’s very important that this pollyanna illusion of what is possible for crossdressers and effeminate gay men is dispelled.  How often does trans* have a happy ending?

Regardless of who someone ‘really is’, there are choices we all make.  I don’t worry too much about judging who was born with the transsexual syndrome and who wasn’t because the answer is rather obvious, even to people who are deep in denial.  That’s because the outcome of any transition is pre-ordained:  If you are transsexual you go down one path, one with a known outcome and positive ending.  If you are TG/trans* you go down another path, a much shorter one.  Your choices have consequences, and you can’t have it both ways as the TG try to do.  Some choices are either/or, and permanent.  And if a transsexual person makes the wrong choice, choosing to be TG because they have been fooled by the propaganda, the consequences are just as disastrous as if they hadn’t transitioned at all.  Choose wisely.

If you are a woman or a man, then that’s what you must be.  There are no excuses.  There is no second place.  There is no comfortable spot between genders specially tailored for each individual, transsexual or otherwise.  The lack of a 3rd gender space for people who don’t feel like dealing with society’s standards is not a civil rights issue.  It’s a fashion statement.  Fashion statements will never be writ into law.

The lack of social acceptance for the sexual fluidity of people who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation, and who often find themselves toying with “gender” as a result, is not a cause to march in the streets in its own right.  It’s not a special sub-category that deserves its own letter.  It falls firmly in the world of gay issues.  Accepting yourself and your sexuality is the answer, not following some pied piper touting gender theory.  This, however, has nothing to do with transsexualism.

If you grasp at transsexualism to deal with your sexual orientation related issues, you are taking a wrong turn.  This path is not for anyone but the born transsexual.  It is not simply one of the many wonderful life journeys people make; it will lead you to misery and ruin.  Gay men who transition will end up like Josef Kirchner.  Crossdressers need to get it under control as well, or you will drive off your families and end up alone like all the people who populate the gender groups.  Letting your sexual hobby get the best of you will damage your families forever.

There is no such thing as “a little bit transsexual”.   Just in case you were wondering.

Transsexualism has nothing to do sexual liberation. Period.

October 7, 2010

I think there is something to the whole visibility question when it comes to certain issues, but not others.  Not every paradigm is extensible.  When you have a melting pot situation for example as in New York, people from very different cultures living side by side who are exposed to each other’s habits and traditions are a bit weirded out at first, but become good neighbors over time.

I’m not sure that model extends in all areas though.  When it comes to such a rare occurrence as this transsexual condition, which to me is simply a case of biological variance at birth, the answer isn’t quite so clear as the immigrant example.  With immigrants the threshold for understanding is much lower, and the goal of mutual understanding is shared by both parties.  Everyone acknowledges some basic commonalities to being human and time will settle the matter.

With transsexual it is very different.  Most people don’t really want to understand, and forcing it on them is seen as an attack.  That’s how I view the trans*/TG efforts at education.  Further, the goal of the person trying to cure themselves of transsexual syndrome is simply to be a man or woman like other people.  Exposing yourself as ‘a transsexual’ defeats that goal and interferes with not only your own treatment but also actively reduces the amount of meaningful exchange that can take place right from the outset.  The concept of being transsexual is so foreign to people who don’t experience it that I’m not sure any amount of education could bridge the gulf.  And the whole time you are educating by exposure, the gap between transsexual and ‘normal’ increases as does your somatic, emotional, and cultural dysphoria.  It’s bad all the way around.

We already have very good evidence for what works and what doesn’t.  In the past, as SA ET and Cat have written extensively, we had a very good model for success in treating this problem both medically and socially.  People accomplished it in private and without fanfare, and the government made accommodations where it could.  We were getting very close to having a permanent legal solution to our status that didn’t involve getting put on some government registry, at least here in the US.  The reason we did it quietly wasn’t shame, as alleged by trans* activists.  It is because to be public about  it precludes the treatment!  If everywhere you go, people know you as “that sex change”, you will never simply be a man or woman.   That’s another reason that insults like ‘stealth’, or ‘in secret’ don’t apply here, yet make perfect sense to people who believe they are putting on some kind of show for the public.  This is diagnostic of the transsexual syndrome, and the trans* obfuscation of this central fact is at the heart of our dispute.

Subsequent to that, we have the track record of the other ‘solution’ to examine after the last 20 years of TG activism.  Telling everyone all about transsexual issues such as surgery in lurid detail is a spectacular failure, one so bad that it makes the observer think that it was done on purpose to ruin any chance a born transsexual would have of curing their problem.  We can see negative results everywhere this ‘education’ has been tried.  It interferes with not only our legal rights and privileges, due to the losses we have incurred where transgender activists have set out to represent our interests, but it also get in the way of the very treatment itself.  If everyone knows you have a transsexual background it keeps the issue from resolving, it is an open wound that never heals.  This is what the TG fail to understand about the condition, and I’m not sure anything I or anyone else says can get through to them.  This is one the central things that sets us apart, and defines our condition.

And this is one of the things that drives me to rage when the TG types are playing that game of “you can never escape”.  Monica Roberts especially likes to zero in on some story about a post op getting dissed as a TG, as if to say “We will own you forever”.  As if that event is a selling point for the trans* dogma!

See, I and the others aren’t just some TG’s putting on airs, so the game they are playing is deadly serious to us.  When they say they will own us and use us regardless of our wishes… well what other situation with women does that remind you of?  Whether or not you believe in the biological origin of our condition, people have to admit *something* is driving us to the extremes we go to.  People who aren’t driven to those extremes think its all fun and games when they expose us, to turn us into TG’s like them in the public eye due to the situation they themselves have engineered via propaganda.  It’s just one-upsmanship to them, playing their game of hierarchy.  But the ones who know better, the ones who have been at it all these years, who have met real deal transsexuals in the past and DO know the difference- they are the truly guilty parties.  Shame on them!

What they are actually doing is fucking with something so deep, so primal in us that words fail to describe what we are going through.  When you constantly attack the core of our being, you are going to elicit such a rage that I’m honestly surprised how civil most of us are about this.  Given the kinds of things we’ve had to endure from the likes of Autumn Sandeen talking about our crotches and the outright misogyny of all the long-forgotten TG warriors of the internet over these years I think we are doing pretty well in the civility department.

So you see why I am not really feeling it when people tell me that my issues need to be tied to crossdressing, or that somehow I bear the burden of explaining ‘gender variance’ to the public because we are one big happy queer family?  Does it make a little more sense why I view crossdressing men and women who claim transsexualism as part of their political crusade as invaders and enemies rather than brothers and sisters?

Having them misinform the public and happily go along with the gay appropriation of transsexual syndrome is a direct affront to my personal sovereignty and to the truth itself.  It is an assault on my dignity.  It turns my life and everything I’ve been through into a joke for the titillation of uninformed masses, a gale of laughter at my expense which the trans* crowd joins in gleefully.

It is obvious that the trans* crowd knows literally nothing about transsexual syndrome, and they betray that fact every time they open their mouths on the subject.  At this point I honestly don’t give a shit if Bob the pantywanker has to head back in ‘the closet’ (whatever that’s supposed to mean to a crossdresser) and keep his sexual fetishes to himself from now on.  I don’t care if gay boys who want to play around with straight guys have the ‘right’ to get their licenses and birth certificates changed before surgery.  Their fights are not ours!!  Enough of their sexual liberation at our expense.

No it doesn’t

October 6, 2010

Bilerico has a new trans* blogger that I can only imagine was brought on board to add a fresh voice to a very stale subject.  If you look at the comments there, they get the most volume when some fight breaks out about trans crap.  Although there is a much more interesting development in the conversation about gay/lesbian politics overall in recent threads where that subject comes up it’s all to infrequent.

The new blogger laments that when she dates as a trans* person her partners tend to focus on her transness rather than her as a person.  She says there are a million more things about her than just being trans, but nobody seems to notice when they date.  There is more but that is the gist of it.

Welcome to the real world.  The fact is that if you put yourself out there as a trans* person, that’s all you’ll ever be.  No amout of political activism is going to change the fact that people will see the most salient aspect of you first and foremost.  That’s just human nature.  If you advertise your transness, that’s all they’ll see because its such a huge deal that nothing else can ever eclipse it.  No amount of public education or exposure will normalize trans* in the way that activists think it will.  All it does is give unneeded exposure to a medical condition that debases it further in the public mind.

Some of the comments are also rather odd.  GinaSF, who is one of the more reasonable supporters of the TG paradigm, has this to say:

It’s my belief trans women and straight/cis men are, in fact, the most transgressive combination… more so that many self-ID’d queer peeps because they challenge the very notion of heterosexuality in a way queer people don’t.

It always amazes me that people who spend all their time thinking about this stuff don’t get it.  But maybe that’s the reason, a sort of forest-for-the-trees effect.  It just doesn’t register with the trans* supporters that we aren’t trans*.  Does not compute.  They can’t see any way that we aren’t part of their group except that we must be delusional, or whatever explanation they come up with that denies who we really are.

Yet the answer is very simple.  It’s right there in front of them but they’ll never see it.  You are who you are.  If you are not part of the trans* world, then that’s the way it is.  If you are a man you are a man, if you are a woman you are a woman.  There is no shoving the ‘truth’ down some dark hole for us as I suppose they imagine we do. (We being standard transsexual and post-transsexual people)  It just is.  And that’s probably why it’s so hard to communicate that fact to those who can’t comprehend how we aren’t trans* or transgender, or whatever word they want to use.

This state of being is at the very heart of what true transsexualism is.  It’s something that even the most doubtful of the psychoanalysts noticed in their studies, people like Person and Ovesey.  Though they viewed transsexual as some kind of extreme parental-related disturbance, they couldn’t  help but notice a clear difference between “transsexuals” and those whom they would otherwise consider simply gay or engaged in fetish crossdressing.  It’s the same thing Harry Benjamin noticed, though he didn’t have the biological tools available to put reason to it.  It’s something that doctors who treat lots of trans* patients notice.  There is a vast gulf between transsexual and those who aren’t- no matter what kinds of treatments people are seeking.  It’s as clear as day when you meet someone who is transsexual even before they transition- and set them next to the patently non-transsexual people who merely think they are.  The context brings out the contrast quite clearly, and the lack of context is what allows the blurring.

This isn’t something that is defined by a choice to have surgery.  It’s not something you can acquire later in life by following the standard narrative.  That’s just putting the cart before the horse, confusing the symptoms with the cause.  The greatest damage done to people with this birth condition was when it was redefined, first by therapists and then by the GLBT into some kind of performance art.  Today, even the best descriptions of the condition are woefully lacking, simply because anyone who gets surgery is transsexual by the ersatz definition.  Still, that’s a lot better than redefining transsexual to include things that don’t even involve surgery at all.  I still marvel at that bit of chutzpah.  Even under the most pedantic of definitions, how can you have transsexual without surgery?

That’s going over some old territory, so let’s talk about things going on now.  The chief danger I see is not to young transsexual men and women. Their path is clear.  The problem is that there are far too many people out there who think you can have a successful transition to the “opposite sex” simply by being gay or lesbian and having a desire to play with gender roles.   They think transsexual simply means transgender.  This is a disaster waiting to happen.  You can’t elevate yourself on some imagined GLBT scale from genderqueer to transsexual by dint of “full time living”.  And that’s really where this argument is going next.

If there are lots of younger people in the gay and lesbian community who see trans* as simply one of the many lifestyle choices available to them the GLBT community is headed for some serious trouble.  If you think the latest suicides are tragic, wait until you see the results of people who transition only to find it doesn’t work for them.  I think that’s the dirty secret of the Trans suicide statistics.  There are a lot of people who transitioned and found they had made a big mistake.  That’s why I say that non-transsexuals shouldn’t transition.  It’s not because I want to be mean, it’s because I know it’s bad for them.  Anyone who has seen support groups in action, or what passes for a trans* community knows what I am talking about.  The problem is that interested parties take one look at that sad, dysfunctional crowd and assume that’s what life is like for post-ops in general.  Nothing could be further from the truth!

Really, I think the trend for young gays and lesbians to transition is on the decline.  As the shame of being gay or lesbian wanes, it will become a less popular choice for those who dislike society’s gender boundaries.  Yet there are still a number of people who insist its all the same, and that transition, or degree of transition, is akin to a fashion choice.  I hope that as time goes on the truth will become much more clear to those considering it.  One mistake here is too many.

The writer of the blog post makes the following observation about herself.

“My life revolves just as much around countless other things as it does being trans.”

No it doesn’t.  As long as you are trans*, that’s all you’ll ever be.  Regardless whether someone is born transsexual or not, if you choose to be something other than a man or woman that’s all you’ll ever get to be.  It will consume your life and define you forever.  You make some choices, and society responds by making others for you.  That’s the real world, and recognition of this is how adults face the consequences of their decisions.  The world does not bend to our whim and that’s something we are supposed to learn when we grow up.

It’s time some people acknowledged that reality and stopped trying to have it all.